Irs Gambling Joke
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.' Joke here) or similar log of your losses and winnings. You can find more record keeping details based on the type of gambling you prefer, such as Keno, Bingo, poker, horse racing, etc., in IRS Publication 529. The IRS isn’t leaving gambling reporting to chance. It has issued new final regulations clarifying and expanding the rules for payors of slot, bingo and keno winnings. Most notably, in response.
The IRS isn’t leaving gambling reporting to chance. It has issued new final regulations clarifying and expanding the rules for payors of slot, bingo and keno winnings. Most notably, in response to an outcry from the gambling industry, higher ...
The IRS isn’t leaving gambling reporting to chance. It has issued new final regulations clarifying and expanding the rules for payors of slot, bingo and keno winnings. Most notably, in response to an outcry from the gambling industry, higher thresholds for reporting responsibilities were retained (IRS Reg. 1.6401-10, 12/29/16).
“Commentators overwhelmingly opposed the idea of reducing these reporting thresholds. Payors opposed lowering the thresholds because it would result in more reporting, which would increase compliance burdens for the industry,” said the IRS in the regulations. “In fact, many commentators suggested that rather than reducing the current thresholds, they should be increased to account for inflation. These final regulations do not change the existing reporting thresholds for bingo, keno, and slot machine play.”
For taxpayers, gambling winnings are treated as taxable income on federal income tax returns, but the tax may be offset by losses up to the amount of the winnings. For example, if you win $5,000 during the year and incur losses of $4,500 in the same year, you owe tax on only $500. The losses are reported on Schedule A, but aren’t subject to the usual 2%-of-AGI floor for miscellaneous deductions.
For businesses, information reporting is required for payments of $600 or more to a taxpayer during the year. While temporary regulations had boosted the reporting thresholds for winnings from bingo games and slot machines to $1,200 and $1,500 for keno games, proposals would have lowered these amounts back to $600.
The information is reported on Form W-2G, “Certain Gambling Winnings,” which must be filed by February 28 of the following year; March 31, if filed electronically.
Now the new regulations hold the line on the reporting thresholds for bingo, slots and keno games. The regs also retained the rules, with minor modifications, on identifying information that must be provided by gamblers. In addition, they adopted an “aggregate reporting” rule, with winnings for a single gambling session being allowed as an alternative to reporting each win that exceeds the required threshold. A single session is defined as the time between a gambler placing a wager on a certain game and completing the last wager on the game before the end of the same calendar day.
The IRS also agreed to allow gambling institutions to use “gaming days” instead of calendar days for reporting periods if its use is uniform. Gaming days are generally used for other accounting purposes.
Finally, the new final regulations did not include proposed rules that applied to electronically tracked systems for slot machines. The proposed regulations required reporting for winnings at least $1,200 within a calendar day session. However, the casino industry successfully argued that the technology would not support this and that it would “chill customer use.” Count this as a win for the casinos.
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1) I just bet £100 at the bookies that they would find Maddie, at 1000-1 odds. That way, if they ever do find her, I’ll be able to afford a fucking good lawyer.
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2) Chuck-E-Cheese, because it’s never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling.
3) My wife has left me because I am a compulsive gambler. I’d do anything to win her back.
4) Poker is like sex – everyone thinks they’re the best, but most people don’t have a clue what they’re doing. Dutch Boyd
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5) What’s the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino? In a casino, you really mean it.
6) A blond girl playing freeroll was taking her time and playing very slow. The timer was started and she still could not take a decision how to play the hand. Her friend asked her with surprise, “What is going on? Why aren’t you playing?” The blond girl replied, “I am playing! I am just slow-playing aces!”
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7) Why didn’t the elephant like to play cards in the jungle? Because there were too many cheetahs.
8) They say one in every seven friends have a gambling addiction. My money’s on Dave.
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9) What did the giraffe say to the tiger at the poker table? I thought you were a cheetah.
Irs And Gambling Man Jokes
10) What’s the difference between a poker player and a dog? In about ten years, the dog quits whining.
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11) Whats the difference between online poker and live poker? You can cry after a bad beat online and no one will laugh at you.
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12) Sign you might have a poker addiction: your kids are named check and raise.
13) I put a thousand pounds on a horse. The fucking thing collapsed.
Check out some of the best Horse Jokes ever published
Irs Gambling Jokes
14) Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.
15) “I am looking for the book named ‘How to win easily and fast with poker.'” “Please check at the fantastic literature counter.”
16. Husband Comes Home After Gambling
I came home from the pub four hours late last night.
“Where the fuck have you been?” screamed my wife.
I said, “I’ve been playing poker with some blokes.”
“Playing poker with some blokes?” she repeated. “Well, you can pack your bags and go!”
“So can you,” I said. “This isn’t our house anymore.”
17. Professional Gambler Screws Everyone In The Bar
During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, “Bartender, I’d like to buy the house a round of drinks.”
The bartender said, “That’s fine, but we’re in the middle of the Depression, so I’ll need to see some money first.”
The guy pulled out a huge wad of notes and set them on the bar. The bartender can’t believe what he’s seeing. “Where did you get all that money?” asked the bartender.
“I’m a professional gambler,” replied the man.
Irs Gambling Expenses
The bartender said, “There’s no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?”
“Well, I only bet on sure things,” said the guy.
“Like what?” asked the bartender.
“Well, for example, I’ll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye,” he said.
The bartender thought about it. “Okay,” he said.
So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. “Aw, you screwed me,” said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.
“I’ll give you another chance. I’ll bet you another fifty dollars that I can bite my left eye,” said the stranger.
The bartender thought again and said, “Well, I know you’re not blind, I mean, I watched you walk in here. I’ll take that bet.” So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye.
“Aw, you screwed me again!” protested the bartender.
“That’s how I win so much money, bartender. I’ll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the fifty dollars,” said the man.
With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. Drunk as a skunk, he said, “Bartender, I’ll give you one last chance. I’ll bet you five hundred dollars that I can stand on this bar on one foot and piss into that whisky bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop.”
The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn’t even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. “Okay, you’re on,” he said.
The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whisky bottle.
The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, “Hey pal, you owe me five hundred dollars!”
The guy climbed down off the bar and said, “That’s okay. I just bet each of the guys in the card room a thousand bucks each that I could piss all over you and the bar and still make you laugh!”
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Related Links: 1. Gambling Jokes from Sickipedia.org 2. Gambling Jokes from Jokes4us.com